一本失落在悉尼的扑克日记

以我个人的经验，北上广城市的富余人数比所谓的发达国家多得多得多。鬼子们打个$5/5还抖抖索索，要是不论技术论Bankroll 随便玩起100/200的国内能有一大把，君不见澳门早就最低$25/50起了吗

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有时候当我贴上一段英文不是为了装逼，是因为一些事情拿中文不好讲出来，然而又不得不说，这时候用第二语言讲便成了我的保护伞，或许才会理解我当下的想法吧。

Since I back from Macau already one and half month,  time passed by quick and my boss still treate me well. By one thing made me sick is that two of my regular vallain (who's  start to use digusting method, limp-called almost 100% of their range. My isolation failed for quiet a bunch of times, as they didn't have any folding equity, hide their monsters from flop til river and never come over the top.

Small-ball but tilting. Gonna find way to deal with it.

我们这赌场一次压$２５０，０００的,　基本是中国人。

中国赌客喜欢博身家，谁敢比

每个人都有一座记忆宫殿，那里储备着你全部的记忆潜能。
我成长于悉尼市郊一座叫Ashfield的小镇，当地人给了它一个奇特的名字叫“小上海”。Well，除了我北京的朋友之外上海小伙伴也确实是我最信赖的助力。我的扑克师父在上海，我的房产律师在上海，滚床单的女孩子也在上海，这是我国内除了台湾以外最喜欢的城市。对于一个中国心中国胃的年轻人来说，这里有我对于遥远家乡大众美食的全部记忆。

沿着火车站走过蜿蜒的街道，不过十分钟便到了我曾租住多年的Queen St.住所，一座红砖砌成的二层小楼。房子本身确实算不上新，年龄几乎与我同大，然而由于我所下榻的主卧家具不多，竟也显得相当整洁。沿着一眼能够望到天边的主干道跑出1.5公里，便是大招牌的Harlstone Park麦当劳餐厅，我每天往返晨跑至少在那里解决了数百顿的早餐，也时常能在那里见到全副武装排在人群中的警察叔叔。然而我要说的，是Queen St.对于扑克玩家来说得天独厚的地理位置，以我住所为轴心周边的三个常规酒吧牌局，刚刚好满足我的日常需要。火车站对面的酒馆周三常规赛人总是特别少，我在那里拿过好几个冠军，年轻的ABC华人TD Jackie是我的好朋友，前台神似摩根弗里曼的老爷爷面容总是很慈祥；Ashfield RSL(Retired Soldier League)有$20刀性价比良好的自助餐，每天都有退休老爷爷老奶奶的舞会，楼上打牌的人和楼下看球押注的人都显得格外热闹；Hurlstone Park RSL是方圆十里最大的复合休闲娱乐场，西餐中餐老虎机21点歌厅舞厅宴会厅一应俱全。这里的比赛从$55刀到$330不等，时常是悉尼最大的扑克联赛APL季赛年度赛举办地。忘了说，那里的Fish&Chips格外好吃。

我觉得如果能在那儿永远生活下去也挺不错的，如果没有后来的意外事件的话。不过，这世界上从来没有如果。

这条街上有我想要的一切。初来乍到时，我在那个名叫孔夫子的网吧里度过了很多个悠闲的下午和晚上。老板是从上海移居的一家三口，早年据传曾经在股市中大输大赢几百万，如今已经金盆洗手退隐深山，当然我猜最后也没赚到什么钱。夫妇俩都是典型的上海人模样，为节省开支让有点呆萌的女儿Jessie跑堂。复式建筑里不好用的电脑最少有一半，只有楼下的七台大屏幕机器游戏还能勉强玩的爽，常年驻扎的有一个满身文身F不离口的年轻当地小伙，和一个玩起游戏就满嘴胡言乱语的卷发小男孩。老板对这两个都表示很无语，但在这个为了移民而开设的小小营业场所里，这已经算是难得稳定的流水了。

网吧斜对面是我曾经最爱的大众餐厅，胖胖的中年阿姨对我格外好，整个2013年我都在那里一边玩ipad一边吃七块钱不重样的四菜一汤。开餐馆是许多早年移民而文化不高的同胞最喜欢的方式，这家热腾腾的馒头包子和花卷在下班时总会有无数的人排队来买，加上墙上壁挂的湖南卫视，你在餐馆里根本找不到一丝一毫身处西方国家的痕迹。不幸的是由于小镇客源不够，2016年中的时候我听说小店经营不善刚刚易手。尽管如此，对于不会做饭的我来说，2013那一年过得平安满足而幸福。

I always have problems on self-measurement.

Sometime I consider myself a fxxxing lucky bastard aged 28 who sitting on $400k+ bankroll with family members who love me and support me. Now I was on comfortable private boss games where I could both gain money and reputation, plus rake-free poker circult. Gaining such a decent paid job is undoubtedly precious on the currecnt employment market.

But on the other side, I've been insanely unlucky with my love career. For every part of relationship, I could hardly rememeber if there is any I didn't devote all my heart inside, burned down hundreds of thousands but nothing left besides of a bunch of sensational memories. For a dozen of times I feel like the cute innocent girl who stand in front of my sight is the right one for me, but the chance just keep slipped away that I had totally no idea what things could be like this. In the end, I start lost courage to try more and devote more, the wound cuts deep and I simply could not bear anymore.

Is it my destiny? I have yet to confess. Right now for me, don't even expected much for my Ms.Right. I better try hard with building muscle, get strong, collect more bankroll, practice more with my lauguage skill, keep grinding more poker session, make it "nanonoko".

At the very begging of my career, I childishly thought that I could make some close friends when playing poker, just cuz "I play good n they respect my skills." Ironically, I've seen so many hostility,quarrel, curse, blow-up and tons of sxxx on the table. Money is a true test, for almost everyone.

Obiously, the outcome of sweet dream went ugly.

I would never say I want to be a professional poker player.

I m still the one seeking respect and acceptance.

Seeking love, seeking every aspect of this glamorous world.

On my own.
________________________________________

There's gotta be another way out
I've been stuck in a cage with my doubt
I've tried forever getting out on my own.
But every time I do this my way
I get caught in the lies of the enemy
I lay my troubles down
I'm ready for you now.

Bring me out
come and find me in the dark now
Everyday by myself I'm breaking down
I don't wanna fight alone anymore
Bring me out
from the prison of my own pride
My God
I need a hope I can't deny
  In the end I'm realizing I was never meant to fight on my own

Every little thing that I've known is every thing I need to let go
You're so much bigger than the world I've made
So I surrender my soul
I'm reaching out for your hope
I lay my weapons down
I'm ready for you now.

I don't wanna be incomplete
I remember what you said to me
I don't have to fight alone

Running well for a couple of days and start insurance business. Let see how I could make at all 2016.

柏木雪狐 发表于 2016-8-16 18:43
Running well for a couple of days and start insurance business. Let see how I could make at all 2016 ...

i don't know how old you are, but it seems you are switching to a new business industry? suddenly?i hope this is a good & right decision to you.
good luck!

麻雀飞飞 发表于 2016-8-17 10:34
i don't know how old you are, but it seems you are switching to a new business industry? suddenly? ...

thanks bro, I mean the poker insurance. Overall +EV  but I have to burden the swings.

柏木雪狐 发表于 2016-8-17 11:31
thanks bro, I mean the poker insurance. Overall +EV  but I have to burden the swings.

oh, my misunderstanding... at least you are confidence in your bank roll otherwise can't suffer the swings...
good to hear that

即将过去的八月对于我来说又是跌宕起伏的一个月。在吸取智游城富有经验的城友防守反击的策略之后，我基本上Crush了以往令我头疼的对手Lag君，仅仅在他一人身上盈利就接近十万。这些Tom Dwan式的英雄玩家读牌准，胆子大，敢于进行疯狂的四连击诈唬，也不害怕巨额波动。然而他们的Leak有时候会在水下时显现出来，筹码买得更深，翻牌前必造大底池，开始Overbet，利用一切你示弱的机会攻击。针对这一点，最有效果的是JC Tran打法，在适当的时候主动放弃一些小底池的争夺，纵容对方的诈唬，并且用Premium Hand埋雷Limp Raise缩小SPR，进入射程范围内直接打光。面对这样的选手，最要记住的一件事情就是丢锅事小，上头事大。千万不能被带入这样疯狂的节奏，深筹码下的失误后果是灾难性的。
然而在短期之内的快速盈利之后，我整个人又有些漂浮起来。不顾Pokerstars现在已经不能在使用HM2 HUD数据库的隐患，为了一测自己的水平竟然直接坐到最大的SNG和ZOOM桌上。毫无疑问，代价巨大。虽然有过一次短期在ZOOM500 cash out 2606刀的经历，但更多地时候还是惨败告终。这些Zoom500上全世界最好的玩家，非常明白什么是controlled aggression, 无数次利用位置会用频繁的3bet和众多的light 4-bet调戏你。当你变得有些难以忍受而最终用一手看上去还不错的牌全压的时候，跟注的无一例外都是当下的坚果类手牌。而在SNG中，另外一些最好的ICM选手stack bully玩得风生水起，不断地用边缘牌全压考验你的神经，只要他的筹码比你多一个，就会不断地逼迫你用六四开或者五五开的牌和他们翻硬币。和这样的对手交战波动巨大，而只要有一次他们连续扔赢running hot就能压制全场，充分利用最大的folding equity不断地压榨你。

最终我还是要承认始终有些我无法战胜的级别，人总是要熟悉自己的舒适区。然而从春节以来的这几个月，扑克的确占用了我基本上全部的业余时间。从工作日下班后的四个小时锦标赛，到周末时老板局的cash game, 自己也常在Pokerstars上面训练，连外出也要在车里或者咖啡厅打高额SNG，晚上的时间又在温习扑克视频和Phil Galfond的讲座。尽管周末没有加班，但是除了扑克之外完全找不到其他更值得做的事情，结果最后还是呆在现场或者网络的扑克桌上。真的应该衡量下，这样值得不值得。


仅仅看一期JC Tran在WSOP2013年上的剪辑就知道什么是职业中的职业，和两倍于自己的全场Chip Leader对面时用QQ连续flat四条街，没有位置的时候连AA也无限check-call, 永远知道安全区在那里，不去盲目追求既定风险之外的价值。沉稳，精明，理智，专注，读人读牌都很准。结果呢？筹码两倍于他的超级筹码王22岁德国小伙激进过度把自己打Tilt, 痛失Sit Out都唾手可得的Final Table与百万美金失之交臂，白白错失这辈子绝不会再有的天赐良机，而Tran稳稳地进了Final Table拿到第五名，财务自由地回他的萨克拉门托老家钓鱼去了。  

这些已经成家立业的男人们啊，人生经验真是比我们这些二十多的毛头小子强太多。