本帖最后由 柏木雪狐 于 2017-9-7 06:53 编辑
My apologize for have to update my recent status in English, cuz the thing i gotta say is kinda of shame or inconventient to write it down in Mandarin.
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6:03 AM，Mariortt.
I can hardly believe three years had been elapsed that much quick, as I already back to China for like two years and continue to work at the place I used to stay, get tripled month salary than before as simultaneous interpreter.
Back on track, got cars and mansion right under my name, plus affluent poker bankroll, looks like the god didn’t lose faith on me.
But the burden is always there for me to carry, with my long-last self-ego. That’s why people always think I m that kind of person who rarely smile and hard to deal with.
A high-functioning sociopath who made millions by playing online poker.
I m not gonna lie to myself. I got things that many people feel jealous about, but I also couldn’t get things done while other ordinary feel so easy to deal with. Have no intention to compare myself with the great Stu Unger, but always got problems of dealing normal social affairs.
Most of my poker content and deep thought came from the great Phil Galfond, but the nerdy type early before. He got married and must have been in gym for quite long (or others tell him to do so), as he looked much thinner and smarter than before, but his graph also no longer perfect and experienced huge downswings as every high stake pro did.
Looks pretty standard that we can all be “abnormal” for only a very short period of time. Temporarily but spectacular.
As Doug Polk in 2007, I also did have very hard and struggle time back to the middle of 2015, couldn’t drag myself out of the mind mud and even seek help psychologist. Fortunately enough, I decided to drop off the hopeless study career and back to the field that I m very good at, the mental games. Catching up the exact right time where poker app just booming in China, I was like “BOOM” and got a life again.
I m also not gonna lie that this is very easy path that everyone can follow. No, it’s definitely not and need quite a bit of luck. When I tanking so long back to Oct.2014 and ultimately decided to leverage myself to get into an contract of buying a mansion is Sydney, I got absolutely no idea if that’s a “genius hero call” or fxxxing stupid as hell. The only thing I concern at that time, is buying property seemingly safer comparing to get into an uncertain marriage, cuz people could change easily but property and contract won’t. Girls can be tender as well as capricious.
But now I got things and people that I know worth fighting for.
It looks like i m that kind of guy who always living in the past of in the future, and never got a moment called “now” to enjoy with. I keep thinking back and forth, it drives my crazy. Not long later the contracted almost dragged me into the abyss and drained all of my life energy. On the middle of year 2015, the stock market is booming while i missed opportunity to double or triple my family wealth, only got a pathetic 35% annual revenue before fully retreated like a scared bird, and had to look my buddy using leverage to make millions. I busted my pokerstars account due to some insane bad luck and tilt afterwards, and schoolwork is not as easy as i thought - couldn’t pass the very last subject regardless of how much time i spent in the lab. And more critically, i really find myself was in big trouble if couldn’t find the house mortgage before the deadline - which is impossible for a ‘student’ with no legal income status.
And all those difficulties were solved miraculously when i looked back in retrospect three years later. I m very OK now.
I listed those tough spot of myself not for complaining, but sharing purpose. I think everyone - regardless of how hard we tried to learn from other people’s fail stories - just inevitably meet some difficulties on certain spot of life. I know it’s very hard to deal with - but just never lose faith, and believe you couldn’t be destroyed by anyone but yourself. I passed through that long seemingly hopeless tunnel and made it through. I did it, so you would as well.
Am I regret of everything I’ve been done before? NO. Don’t do useless things.
The moment I sitting down here in Marriott typing this article, my sight could still see the kid 9 years ago, who just graduated from uni and got a pathetic $400 bucks salary, grinding on microstake after longtime tough work and dreaming one day he could possibly be the next young Phil Ivey.
Doug Polk did it, I did it, you could do the same thing as well.
Just don’t give it up.
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楼主
，我一直喜欢打PS的ZOOM的六人桌，最高打到NL100，算个娱乐玩家。